Conscious Parenting Tips Health

Conscious Parenting Tips Health – Or so to speak, the philosophy of “conscious parenting” is creating new waves in the world of motherhood. Could this New Age lifestyle trend change the way you raise your children?

When I was expecting my first child, I had a small existential crisis about what kind of parent I was going to be. How can I shape my child into a confident person when at 36 I still feel inadequate in many ways? I have always tried to embrace my “inner fullness” and my spirituality, but after 18 years of yoga, a brief study of Kabbalah (before Madonna brought up Jewish mysticism). ), three therapists and a couple of failed daily meditations, I was just mumbling along in my soul-searching journey. So after my daughter was born, I was very optimistic when I realized that she was a very spirited and confident person from the beginning. As a baby she was loud and screamed – even our midwives were startled by the power of her pterodactyl-like cry. She always knew what she wanted and how to get it. All I had to do as her mother was to love her and take care of her. Easy, right?

Conscious Parenting Tips Health

Conscious Parenting Tips Health

No. There’s nothing about parenting that makes sense to me – and anyone who says it comes naturally or instinctively isn’t doing the rest of us a favor.

All About Conscious Parenting And How To Use It In Everyday Life

Raising small, demanding people is a huge amount of work, and try to stay calm when you’re taking a three-hour nap and your child is only sleeping on your body or when your child is upset with you. “by accident” blush. she pooped on the toilet can feel hopelessly overwhelmed – no matter how cute they are. Over the past few years, with the same calmness and control I tried to be with my now four and three year old daughters, I fell into many of the bad habits I used to condemn parents for. Others: I I am a complete impulse. I bribed my kids to do things with Smarties and Paw Patrol. I yelled at them and I let them yell at me. But the worst, and one of the hardest things to admit, was that I struggled to find joy in parenthood, even though I had been looking forward to motherhood for years. Of course there is an unfathomable bond and there are so many magical moments that I wish I could remain numb forever. But the constant torment, and all the fear and anxiety that comes with parenting and trying to control their behavior, became overwhelming at times. I would like a change.

When my twin sister told me about a method called “conscious parenting” suggested by the teachers at her Montessori school for preschoolers, I was ecstatic. . It’s basically a parent-centered parenting philosophy. Based on the idea that the problem is not with the children, but with our own “unconsciousness” as parents. The focus is always on the parent, rather than the child’s behavior. To “fix” our children, we must first fix ourselves.

The most popular voice of this school of thought is Shefali Tsabary, known as “Dr. Shefali,” a Mumbai-based international New York-based clinical psychologist, author and speaker who looks and inspires like a Bollywood movie star. Oprah is quoted on the cover of Tsabary’s The Awakened Family as saying that “[Dr. Shefali] has evolved to the point where her ideas are truly a paradigm shift that can change the world,” and the Dalai Lama wrote the foreword to Tsabary’s first book, The Father. conscious, became a New York Times bestseller. Even Pink is a fan.

If Tsabary’s Buddha-like wisdom can transform the world (because Oprah is in no way exaggerating, right?), then it might change the dynamic between me and her girls a bit.

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The concept of conscious parenting is rooted in ancient Eastern beliefs, as well as Western psychology. According to Tsabary, to be “aware” or mindful is to be aware—so that we can tell the difference between responding to our children from our ego and from a calmer state, focusing on who we really are. It’s all about the ability to be present in the moment in whatever situation arises. And by living in the present, she says, our children are the masters who can awaken us to reality, and give us the gift of self-awareness, self-expression and deep convictions. color yourself.

While Tsabary offers plenty of examples and case studies, she offers no quick fixes or step-by-step strategies—which can be daunting for parents looking for quick, tangible solutions. She sees consciousness as a lifelong journey, a moment-by-minute exercise in connecting with yourself and your children from a place of love, authenticity and acceptance rather than fear, ego and control.

“Children do not need us to bring them to a state of awakening because they are awake,” Tsabary writes. “As parents, it is important for us to understand that as long as our children are in touch with their deepest self, with its unlimited resources, they will push themselves through anything. anything we can imagine.”

Conscious Parenting Tips Health

How can parents put this lesson into action? In addition to the idea that your child needs to do certain things (including “good” behavior and good grades, and even meeting expectations around eating and sleeping), you can regularly let them know how much they are accepted and appreciated. because they are simply who they are. In fact, Tsabary says the most important goal of parenting is to create space for our children to get in touch with their spirits.

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I began to ignore the struggles surrounding what children wear and eat every day – having unruly girls with messy hair is a small price to pay for empowering them to express themselves and be independent. owners, and let them discover the joys of food. For example, in the past I have begged, pleaded, used ultimatums, and even spoon-fed them vegetables when they looked the other way or half-chewed. Now I make some healthy choices and then leave it as it is. We are all less stressed. In fact, one day my preschooler ate boiled carrots for the first time since he was a baby – he served himself after seeing us enjoy them.

“If you take nothing else from this book, this is the most basic lesson of an awakened family: Set expectations for your child instead of letting his natural tendencies unfold. Nature can lead to an emotional Grand Canyon between you and your child.” writes Tsabary in The Awakened Family. As they begin to show serious interest in certain activities or hobbies, he advises parents to let them sit with those wishes for a while before working on them. In this way, we give ourselves the opportunity to tune in to our children’s real, deep desires rather than their ego-driven desires, such as what they think they want at this moment or what they think others want for them. By waiting, we also allow them to commit to their passions and work towards a goal, which is far more valuable than being blindly “in love” with them.

Is parenting important? An important part of the “conscious parenting” philosophy is to understand that all misbehavior (your child’s) and dysfunction (yours) result from unresolved emotional needs in childhood. Sounds like Psychoanalysis 101 — hurting people hurts people, right? —But it can be a little humbling to realize how you might be manipulating or taking out your child to make up for your own problems. According to Tsabary, the mother of all wounds is feelings of inadequacy and lack of self-confidence, and this can manifest in many ways: for example, the fear of not being loved (you try to please your children), own and difficult to set boundaries set. ), fear of conflict (again, you can’t say no to your child and you let them walk all over you) or even fear of saying yes (you find it difficult to give your child your undivided attention or to to see them demand as a matter of course and not an imposition).

My sister and I grew up in a strict French-Moroccan immigrant family, where appearance and obedience were very important. Although we felt very appreciated and loved by our parents, my sister and I still remember getting our mother’s permission by letting her dress us like little bags or dolls, and sometimes we are afraid of our father. While he is loving, creative and spontaneous in his joy, his frustration at getting us to act sometimes leads to sessions of shouting and beating.

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Instead of blaming or resenting our parents, who are also doing their best while carrying their own pain or emotional baggage, Tsabary says you can use this insight to reflect on how your child is upsetting you, which is ideal for will make it easier for you to recognize and address problems as they arise at this time.

Conscious approaches to behavior problems focus on three C points: creating clear boundaries, being consistent and compassionate, so discipline is not necessary. She says children can recognize our conflict, especially when it’s based on fear. When we are inconsistent with communicating our “non-negotiable” boundaries, such as

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